It was Just a Drunken Hallucination, Right?
by MikasaAckerman104
Summary: Connie and Jean (read: two idiots) have the smart idea to see what happens when Captain Levi and Mikasa get drunk. The two idiots get them drunk. Chaos follows. The two idiots learn when a smart idea is a smart idea, and when it isn't.


"What did you two do!?" Erwin yelled at the two guilty soldiers in front of him. After a successful mission, he'd given everyone permission for a party that was not going well.

"Captain Levi put Connie in charge of getting him tea all night, and I kept offering to get Mikasa punch all night." Jean said, looking everywhere except the commander.

"What happened?" Erwin asked.

"I kept exchanging Captain Levi's tea for alcohol, to see what would happen, and Jean kept putting some into Mikasa's punch." Connie said.

"And you two got the best soldiers in the whole military drunk." Hanji slurred, "don't forget that bit."

"How are we going to subdue them?" Erwin asked himself.

"Easy. Just lock 'em into a room, and see what happens. This experiment is going just as planned!" she hiccuped.

"You helped these two get them drunk didn't you?" Erwin asked the scientist. She drunkenly swayed and nodded.

"All right. You three have to help me subdue them." Erwin sighed, rubbing his temples.

"By doing what?" Connie asked.

"I don't know how we-" Jean started before being cutoff by a loud voice.

"We'll retake Wall Maria!" the loud voice yelled.

"And show all you sissies the power of true Survey Corps soldiers!" a different person yelled. The four looked over at the source of the disturbance. The two people yelling were none other than a drunk Captain Levi and a drunk Mikasa Ackerman.

"Oh no." Connie unnecessarily stated.

"Wall Maria will be ours again!" Mikasa shouted, cheeks flushed pink from all the alcohol she'd been given.

"See the power of the Survey Corps!" Levi shouted, cheeks also pink from all the alcohol in him. They both proceeded to jump off the table they were standing on, and run from the room.

The other soldiers in the room were stunned in the morning. Once they all learned that the drunk Mikasa and Captain Levi had actually left the base.

"We thought that was just a drunken hallucination." a formerly drunk person said, squinting through her hangover.

"Well it wasn't. You can thank these two for it." Erwin said, pointing at Jean and Connie, who were both nursing hangovers.

"What are we going to do, sir?" a soldier asked.

"Go after them, and hope their drunken minds weren't serious about retaking Wall Maria." Erwin said, "go get geared up."

* * *

The soldiers were starting to ride out of Wall Rose when they saw it. A road of destruction, and steaming Titan corpses everywhere.

"You know, Connie." Jean started.

"Yeah, Jean?" Connie asked.

"I'm starting to think giving alcohol to them was a bad idea." he said.

"I think I agree with you." Connie managed, looking around at the damage. The Titans sulked just at the edge of it, before leaving them alone.

"Are they afraid of this path of destruction?" Hanji asked, to no one in particular, observing the odd behavior. Everyone was starting to bet some combination of a drunk Captain Levi and a drunk Mikasa. They finally reached the spot where Wall Maria had been breached. Only, it was sealed.

"Saint Sina, Rose, and Maria. Did they actually retake Wall Maria while they were that drunk?" Mike asked, looking at the sealed wall.

"It appears so." Hanji said, as shocked as he was.

"Wa-hoo!" they heard from atop the wall.

"Wall Maria is ours again!" a different person atop the wall yelled.

"Climb the wall!" Erwin ordered the Survey Corps.

"To the ocean!" they heard once they made it on top. Two figures jumped off the wall, and flew off into Titan territory.

"Commander, it looks like they somehow found more alcohol and drank it." Moblit said, holding up bottles and bottles of empty liquor.

"At this moment, we shall never ever allow those two anywhere near alcohol ever again, nor shall we give them any to see what happens." Erwin said, glaring at Connie and Jean. They shuddered under his intense gaze.

"Dear Maria." Hanji murmured, as she looked out into the Titan land.

"What?" Erwin asked, already dreading what he was going to see.

"Guess who made the path of destruction." Hanji said faintly, the two of them watching their drunk comrades create another one.

* * *

"What the hell happened?" was the first thing Mikasa heard when she sat up.

"I don't know." she admitted, holding her head.

"And where the hell are we?" Levi asked, looking around.

"I think Armin calls it 'the ocean'." she managed through a pounding headache.

"How the hell did we get here?" he asked, rubbing his own head.

"No idea." she admitted, "but look, someone supplied us with water." She held up bottles of clear stuff.

The two drank the bottles, not knowing what they were drinking. Or how the bottles had just appeared.

"I've always wanted to see the ocean!" Mikasa yelled, drunk again. She took another long swig from the bottle in her hand.

"It's so pretty here!" Levi yelled from next to her, also drunk.

"The ocean! Ha! I get to see the ocean!" Mikasa screamed at the waves crashing against the sand.

"I get to see it too!" Levi shouted, raising his blades to the sky.

"Huzzah!" they yelled in unison.

* * *

"Found them, Commander." Armin said, hearing the yelling.

"What is this place?" Hanji asked, stepping in the sand.

"It's called the ocean!" Eren exclaimed. The next thing everyone saw, were two people streaming past them.

"Follow them!" Erwin yelled, turning his horse around. The soldiers all galloped after the flying people.

* * *

"Commander! We lost sight of them a while back!" Moblit yelled up to the front.

"Where could they have gone?" Erwin yelled, stopping his horse.

"No idea." Hanji said.

"A Titan is coming up behind us!" someone yelled.

"What?" Erwin exclaimed, looking behind him.

"-WARD!" he heard coming from the Titan.

"FORWARD!" he heard again. Yup, he had definitely heard it, the voices were most definitely drunk, and he was most definitely getting too old to do this kind of stuff.

"FORWARD!" the two voices belonged to a still drunk Mikasa and Levi. Only they were riding a Titan. And the Titan was wearing a party hat. They were on either shoulder, faces still pink from alcohol.

"Shit! Turn, Sally, turn!" one voice screamed.

The Titan did manage to turn, happily running off once the two drunk people on it had disembarked. "Huzzah!" they shouted together.

"Run free, Susan! Run free!" Mikasa screamed at the Titan running away.

"Sally! It was Sally!" Levi yelled at her.

"Oops." she giggled, "run free Sally! Run free!" They were both giggling at each other when the soldiers jumped them.

"We got 'em, Commander." Moblit said, looking relieved.

"Take their gear, and put them in a wagon." Erwin commanded. His orders were immediately followed.

* * *

"Throw them in a room, and let them finish being drunk. Make sure there's no windows, and the only way out of the room is through a door that is guarded." Erwin said. Those orders were followed, and five guards were placed on the door.

"What are they even doing in there?" a guard wondered, hearing no noises coming from the room containing two drunks. They opened the door. Levi and Mikasa were having a full blown make-out session. Levi's hand was in the front of her uniform pants, and her hands were cupping his butt, and his other hand was on the back of her head.

"No way. Imagine them waking up to that. They'd both probably kill each other." one of the guards exclaimed, when a different one said they should just leave them.

"Go get the commander."

* * *

"What are they doing?" Erwin asked, having been sent for.

"This." a guard said, opening the door. Erwin observed the scene.

"Separate them. Tie them to chairs if you need to." Erwin said. The guards started the dangerous task of separating them. Five guards walked out of the room, bruised and bleeding. Who knew separating two drunks having a make-out session was dangerous? They had succeeded though. Drunk Mikasa and drunk Levi were on opposite sides of the room, tied to chairs. They struggled against the ropes before falling asleep.

* * *

"Ackerman. Why the hell are we tied to chairs?" Levi asked, regaining his senses.

"I have no idea, sir." she said, also regaining her senses.

"Do you remember how we got here?" he asked.

"No." she admitted.

"Oi! Open up the door!" Levi shouted through his pounding headache.

"Sir-? Are you all right?" a person asked, opening the door.

"Yes. Untie us." Levi snarled.

"What's your name?" the man asked.

"Untie me before I put you all in the infirmary!" he said, struggling against the ropes again.

"Yes sir!" they exclaimed, untying the ropes on him and Mikasa. They both had pounding headaches, and were swaying as they stood there.

"Maybe Erwin will know what happened." Levi said, and the two of them left the room.

* * *

Erwin was having a strange feeling of completeness. He'd captured the best two soldiers in all of the army, while they were drunk, and had nearly finished all of his paperwork. He was smiling when the door was open, and was terrified when the door shut.

"Levi. Ackerman. What brings you here?" he asked, falsely smiling.

"Why the hell were we tied to chairs. Erwin." Levi snarled.

"What do you remember?" Erwin asked.

"Putting Springer in charge of bringing me tea all evening." Levi said.

"Jean bringing me punch all night long." Mikasa said. Both of their eyes narrowed.

"We'll be back, Erwin." Levi said, and the two of them left the room.

"Keiji, it looks like they have a really bad hangover. We need to be as careful as possible." Erwin said.

* * *

Connie and Jean were hiding. Keiji had just warned them of the massive hangover Mikasa and Captain Levi had. And also how they were looking for them.

"Let's never do anything like this again, Connie." Jean whispered.

"Oh, yes, Jean. That's an excellent idea." Connie whispered back, fearful of what were to happen if they were found.

"And yet your first idea was no where as logical as that one." Levi said from behind them. Both were terrified for their lives as they turned around to face Levi and Mikasa.

"Hi, guys. How's it going?" Connie asked nervously.

"We've got a massive hangover, and we remember is you two bringing us refreshments all night long." Mikasa said, a murderous look in her face.

"Run, Connie! Run for your life!" Jean screamed, and they both started to run. They were chased by the ones with hangovers. Connie and Jean are currently hanging off the side of Wall Rose, on the verge of death. In handcuffs. Everyone else evacuated the base once Mikasa and Levi learned what they did while they were drunk, almost as scared of the two of them as Connie and Jean had been when they ran from them.

* * *

A/N: PM me for any questions you've got! R&R would be nice.


End file.
